Dear SHS,
In the past I have been told that I am talented at consuming food. This is of coarse true, but how can I turn it into a get rich quick scheme? If you could possibly shed some light on how I can turn my HUGE appetite into fast easy cash, I will gladly give you a cut of the pie...but not to much...boy I love me some pie.
With Love
Greedy Pie Guy
PS...do I have to send shirtless pics?
Dear Greedy:
I believe that the best option for your resource-consuming ass (I bet your carbon footprint is that of a small developing nation) is to create a reality TV game show. The show would be called "The Hunger Games" and you would be the only contestant. The live studio audience would be a group of starving children from various war-torn, disaster-riddled areas. The camera can alternate between shots of you eating a four-course meal (preferably groaning audibly) and the starving children watching you. This will be a live show in which people call-in telethon-style to pay you a certain sum (set your goals high, bitch) to put an end to their white-guilt, first-world discomfort. Once you reach your goal the children will be allowed to eat whatever you have leftover. In order to minimize overhead, you can have the children double as people answering the phone. Angelina Jolie can be the host.
Yes, always send shirtless photos. Why is that even a question?
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