WE WILL SHAVE WITH GUNS SO HELP ME GOD

This was the result of my Google image search "masculine guns man"

There have been myriad examples of #masculinitysofragile since the hashtag began 3ish years ago, but nothing, no consent commentary from Joe Biden (< THIS JOKE AGED POORLY) nor a Ghostbusters with female protagonists, could have evicted the cacophonous howls of perceived castration to the degree that recent events have. Were men subjugated into reproductive slavery? Paid less than women? Told to smile? Nay. The egregious event that caused the wrath of half a million men to descend upon the Twittersphere (and thus, Youtube, 4Chan, and MSNBC) was... a commercial for razors.

Yes my dearies. Gillette release a commercial last week that suggested that men 1. Stop harassing, drugging, and assaulting women, 2. Value female colleagues as equals and 3. Cease the encouragement of violence among young boys. Basically, Gillette said "Stop being a dick."

Here it is, in case you don't obsess over Twitter in your sleep like I do:

And dicks everywhere revolted. Men who were SO OFFENDED that a BRAND encouraged better behavior from men very calmly tweeted ALL CAPS photos of their destroyed/burning/dropped-in-the-toilet-but-have-to-fish-it-out-later-because-you-can't-flush-that Gillette razors. They decried Gillette as being patronizing, inventing the concept of toxic masculinity to sell razors, and screamed DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO RAZORS I AM A MAN WITH A PENIS AND I MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS AND ALSO I AM ENTITLED TO PUSSY.

But among all the screeching of men who were put off by seeing themselves in the ad, one thought emerged in my mind.

Oh my god, they let a woman in the room.

Gillette, which invented the "problem" of female body hair, which charges women more for a shittier razor because it is pink, which for years utilized the male gaze to sell product, finally put a woman in the room.

I know this because I spent five years in advertising where there were not women in the room. And Grey NY, who made the ad, finally figured out a few key factors that likely led to the inclusion on women in creative decisions that helped a brand hawk more non-recyclable plastic that will inevitably choke a sea turtle to death when it ends up in the ocean. *

* Grey does not deserve any accolades for this. Gillette is not "brave" for making this. If deciding not to placate men is "brave" then I will accept my congressional medal of honor as soon as Trump is no longer president (because I don't want my pussy grabbed during a ceremony honoring my bravery).

First factor - there is a women's movement happening right now. Despite the fact that this has been going on so long that we literally categorize this into different waves, some ad exec who started dating a feminist, probably on a dare, told his boss "yeah, like, women are having a moment right now."

Second factor - This "moment" might actually be a shift in society. Women on a whole are better educated than men and, while they are still only paid 78 cents to a man's dollar, are occupying the higher earning jobs at an increasing rate.

Third factor - Women make a majority of purchasing decisions in American households. Whether as heads of household or a partner, women are doing the shopping and making the decisions where the money is spent. 75%, in fact.

I wasn't in the room when Grey came up with this pitch. I would guess, though, that a female raised these points, and a male had to validate them in order to get the room to agree. I surmise this because this was the creative team that made the spot:

Worldwide Chief Creative Officer: John Patroulis - man
Deputy Chief Creative Officer: Jeff Stamp - also a man
Executive Creative Director: Joe Mongognia - man
Group Creative Director: Asan Aslam - man
Creative Director: Patrick Conlon - man
Planning Director: Kristian Henschel - man but with a name spelled kind of girly
EVP, Global Account Director: Brian Weston - man
SVP, Global Account Director: Marie Massat - OH THANK GOD A WOMAN 
VP, Global Account Director: Robert Chedid - man
Account Supervisor: Julie Ressler - woman but with no creative input
Account Executive: Lindsay Auerbach - woman, not in a creative role
Project Manager: Joey Scarillo - man

So Gillette isn't brave, Gillette is smart. Grey harnessed the power of female consumerism to sell razors to men. Gillette bought that idea. Gillette gives no shits whether butthurt men want to buy their razors. Those men can go to bic, or ruger, or whatever shaving implement is manly enough for their face (and ONLY their face. Men who spend time getting mad at razors don't manscape). Women are buying the razors, and it's women who the ad appeals to on a whole.